Growing up, we heard the often-repeated phrase, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” This English nursery rhyme is often used to empower victims who are being teased or insulted by others, falsely suggesting that our words have no ability to make or break us. What we don’t realize, however, is that the words we speak hold the power to utterly transform our lives, for better or for worse.

Our words can encourage, positively altering the view a person may have of him/herself or others, experiences he/she has faced, and the value of life itself. However, negative words can leave internal bruises that are oftentimes more hurtful and destructive to a person than physical pain. What’s worse, these internal pains can lead to serious emotional and psychological damage.

Speaking negative words, whether spoken by you or about you, is an issue that everyone in all walks of life will face, no matter what their age, race, gender, occupation, or education level are. In elementary school, kids can name-call other children and lower a child’s self-esteem, leaving the child feeling insignificant, scared, useless, and weak. In middle and high school, gossip can spread like wildfire and ruin the reputations of boys and girls alike, prompting them to harm themselves and/or others, as well as preventing them from seeing that they have a purpose and can succeed in life no matter what obstacles try to keep them from reaching their potential. In the workplace, adults can also spread rumors and belittle the capabilities of another adult, increasing an adult’s stress and frustration, ruining their behavior at home and in family life, and causing them to lose their morale or confidence in their abilities to achieve success.

The effects of hurting one another through words can be seen in high suicide rates, depression, giving in to alcohol and drug abuse, cyber bullying, school shootings, other acts of violence on yourself or others, anxiety in social settings, mental disorders and diseases, or physical pains such as headaches or loss of appetite.

So, now that we know that words can hurt– that they can positively or negatively impact us– what do we do to stop the use of negative words? The answer lies in thinking before we speak. I’m not talking about the cliché version that parents often tell their children to do. Rather, we have to think about whether or not the words we say will edify ourselves and others. We have to think deeply, think about the impact our negative words can have on a person’s self-esteem and ultimate future. Before we say negative words to another person, maybe we should flip the mirror on ourselves and observe how we would feel if another person were to say those same negative words to us. We all want to be encouraged, told that we are worth something. If the reflection you see contradicts the words you were going to say, you have a choice to not say those words.

As stated in “Words” by Christian rock band Hawk Nelson, “Words can build you up, Words can break you down, Start a fire in your heart or put it out. Let my words be life, Let my words be truth.”