“Dang girl, I Lust you.”
“I’m so in lust with him.”
“Oh man, you’re in lust”

Something about all of this sounds a bit off, right? That’s because saying you are in love at this age is a bit off as well. The truth is, teens should speak the truth when it comes to how they feel, but they need to understand the difference between what they are feeling – lust – and what they think they are feeling – love.

In high school, it seems that every girl, and even some guys, desire that “Dearra and Ken” relationship or that “hardcore love” Tink sings about. However, teens have it mixed up. Being between fifteen and eighteen means that one’s understanding of relationships is underdeveloped. One of the biggest causes of this unclear understanding is the way that relationships are depicted. The way young people view relationships and intimacy is influenced by what we see on social media, in music videos, and on television. These three pillars of media are why teens mistake the physical desire that they feel for a person as love. This desirous feeling, while strong, leaves out the emotional piece that is required for the “L” word.

Now hear me when I say this, I’m no love expert or love doctor. Heck, I’m sixteen myself learning the ins and outs of life; however I do know these things for sure:

Dressing like your significant other is not a relationship goal. Yes, it’s cute to match and take pictures with bae but it’s not a goal, nor is it an accomplishment. Dressing like your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t show that you have a good relationship or you guys are in love, it just shows you guys can match colors and it’s quite stupid.

Communication is key. It sounds so cliche but it’s the gospel truth. If you can’t express how you feel to your significant other than you have a huge problem. Your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t have telepathy, super powers, or the ability to read your mind, so you have to express how you feel respectfully.

Trust your partner. You can say, “ohh yeah I trust my boo blah blah blah,” but if you feel the need to stalk your boo’s twitter, instagram, or facebook page that means you don’t trust them. If you feel the need to sneak their phone to figure out their password and go through everything possible, you don’t trust them. This is exactly why being open about everything is important.

A relationship based solely on the physical is most likely not love. Both you and your partner need to rethink your relationship if it is only physical. There is a fine line between love and lust. When you love somebody, your intimate affection exceeds the physical desire of your significant other. Love is when you can still see the best of your partner even on their worst days. Love is seeing past the flaws and being able to have a conversation.

Like I said, I’m no expert, but I do know a few things. If any of the aforementioned areas represent your relationship, you may need to reassess whether you are in love, or lust.