In many cases, technology helps us stay connected with one another. Whether it is through Instagram, Twitter, messaging apps or other means, technology is all around us.

However, phones, tablets, and other portable technology can also be partly to blame for the reason real-life relationships fail and block out the real world. It seems that people stay on their phone so long or are so engrossed in their online world that time passes and they completely miss what’s happening around them. Communication becomes less frequent when everyone in the house is on their phone, scrolling through social media with nothing to say to the person sitting right next to them, because they are caught up in the phone and what social media has to offer them.

In relationships, technology can become a problem because one or both people may spend too much time stuck to social media and not enough time in the real world of socializing. According to Emily Adler’s article in Business Insider titled “Social Media Engagement: The Surprising Facts about How Much Time People Spend on the Major Social Networks,” she reports on the staggering amount of time people spend online, and how a good portion of this time is allotted to social media. She writes, “Nearly 20% of total time spent online in the U.S. across both desktop and mobile devices is on social platforms. Facebook, alone, makes up 14% of total time spent online.”

While sites such as Facebook can be described as “social” sites that allow people to connect with one another, other online sites that offer little in the way of real social interaction can be detrimental to people. These areas of the Internet are where people live in a sort of fantasy world that is more fun than reality. Technology gives people the power to be whoever they want and say almost anything they want without being questioned or having to defend themselves. People can make their own identities on the Internet and, in some cases, become so attached to being that person that they forget who they truly are, or they become so involved they end up ruining their real lives. The Huffington Post article “This Is How Technology Is Affecting Your Relationship” describes a scenario where a woman left her husband for another relationship that developed over Facebook’s Mafia Wars. The article notes that the woman traveled to Seattle, Washington and stayed with the man she had been communicating with online via Mafia Wars. According to the article, the two now have a child, and the woman’s ex-husband, Benjamin Painter, sees the online gaming site as the culprit for his failed marriage. “The child is a walking, talking thing that was born out of a situation that mostly occurred in cyberspace…,” says Painter. “She never wanted to be uncomfortable or unhappy and inhabited bubble worlds to sustain that. I am sure this part of her would have shown up eventually, but technology made the rift grow faster.”

Another form of technology – video games – also affects how people communicate or, rather, don’t communicate. Video games take over the minds of many, especially teenage boys. Online gaming, in particular, captures the attention of users, who become so mentally attached to online games and meeting people online from different countries that they totally forget about the real world and real-life responsibilities. Teens can get so caught up in video games that they stop going out of the house or neglect other important aspects of their lives, including friendships and school. For those who become so immersed in online gaming, their primary form of communication consists of conversations that are conducted online, which limits their ability to cultivate true, face-to-face relationships.
A Psychology Today article, “Is Technology Creating a Family Divide?” by Jim Taylor Ph.D., details some of the important findings around this issue. Taylor writes, “This divide has grown, due to the increased use of technology among children, in several ways. First, children’s absorption in technology, from texting to playing video games, does by their very nature limit their availability to communicate with their parents.” Video games have a significant and growing impact on the traditional roles of children, according to Taylor.

Technology fails to bring people together when they want something different from it. People take technology and run with it; they become reliant on technology for many aspects of their lives, which includes socializing. Instead of having a study group or asking an adult or teacher questions, young people take advantage of the simplicity of just asking “Siri” for the answer or maybe go as far as searching for it online. Today’s world seems to be less about personal connections and more about how our devices isolate us.