Between watching snippets of the documentary Surviving R.Kelly, to seeing a person in power using his wealth and privilege against a woman, to being a victim of sexual harassment, I am exhausted by our society. As a result, I feel it is time to talk about the problem and the root causes of the problem: a lack of self-control.
Before we go any further, allow me to define what sexual harassment is so that we are on the same page and eliminate any confusion. Sexual harassment is, according to multiple sources, “behavior characterized by the making of unwelcome and inappropriate sexual remarks or physical advances in a workplace or other professional or social situation.”
Many people get it twisted around and believe that sexual harassment is only a physical act – unwanted touching or worse, but words are also part of the problem. It is time that we stop overlooking this and address the issue.
Being a victim to sexual harassment isn’t just something only women face. Both men and women can be victims of sexual harassment, because both men and women make sexual advances and comments towards each other. Women “jokingly” comment at men, but it’s harder to pin it on them, so we often just brush it aside and forget about it. However, there are instances where sexual harassment of men has been severe.
It’s sad to say that not everybody understands the words or phrases no, no thank you, not interested, or not right now. This is why it bothers me that some people do not understand the meaning of consent. Consent and the word no are synonymous. Consent means permission; no means no. It’s pretty simple really.
So what is the problem? The problem seems to be a sense of entitlement, having the right to something. Young men calling out to a girl and telling her how she looks or what they want to see is done because those young men feel that they are entitled to that action. If that woman responds negatively to those young men, then they pass it off as “playing hard to get” or as a “she doesn’t know it yet but she likes me” mindset. Was the problem, perhaps, their inappropriate and unwanted action? Nope, not in their eyes. This is the mindset that needs to change if we are to progress as a society.