What Would You Do? Friendship Edition


Fanta Dabo and Andrea Gill

Two Mainstream writers – Andrea Gill and Fanta Dabo – take on the concept of “What would you do?”  and offer their unique thinking on a number of questions that test their thinking and how they see the world.

Your friend invites you to eat out for the 3rd time this month. Even though you’ve paid for the previous dinners, they seem reluctant to pay for this one. What would you do?

Andrea: I would take the pattern of this behavior as a sign of disrespect in our friendship. If we are as close as I thought, they could talk to me about any struggles they have. We didn’t have to always eat out if money was an issue and could have engaged in other activities. Until they notice their fault, our relationship will slowly become distant.

Fanta: In this situation, I would nicely ask the friend why they invited me out if they couldn’t even pay for themselves. If they genuinely cannot pay for it, I would pay this time, but would tell them that I am not going out with them again if they continue to depend on me.

Your two best friends are dating each other. You find out one of them is cheating on the other. What would you do?

Andrea: I would have not mentioned anything even if it’s hard to close my mouth. Though my best friends are dating, I’m not part of the relationship between them. I would be extremely disappointed in the person who cheated and lose trust in them, but I would leave it up to them to tell the truth. If I did confess, I would be included in the problem that I was never in.

Fanta: In this situation, I would confront the cheater, and tell the friend that is being cheated on. I have loyalty to both, so I owe them both the truth, regardless of the outcome of their relationship. If I was in this position, I’d want to know the truth, so I would respect them enough to tell them, as well.

Your friend expresses their passion for becoming a rapper. They truly believe they will become successful, but it is the worst music you’ve ever heard. What would you do?

Andrea: I would tell them the truth straight up. If they are an important person to me then their future is also something I care about. Even if the truth will hurt them, I would have to admit that their music is horrible and that the stability of a career in becoming a rapper will be lacking. They can be good at many other things.

Fanta: In this situation, I would try my hardest to push them in another direction for their career. I would advise them to rap as a hobby, but not as a career. It would be gentle, but I would let them know that their music is not it, so they should start thinking about plan B for their future.

Your sibling invites their friend over, and you quickly find out they lack manners. They jump on furniture, speak very loud, and leave messes everywhere. What would you do?

Andrea: I would talk to my sibling first before anything else. It’s my sibling’s job to deal with the guests they have brought over to the house. Also, my sibling can’t start any arguments with me about disrespecting their friend when I’ve asked them first to handle the situation.

Fanta: In this situation, I would speak directly to the friend and let them know that they either act correctly, or they can see themselves out of my house. They aren’t my friend, so I don’t need to sugarcoat what I say to them. Having manners at people’s houses is the bare minimum, so if they can’t do that, then they don’t need to be out at all, and I would let my sibling know that they won’t be coming back.