Rolling…rolling…rolling… went the little apple that fell farther than expected from the tree. Maybe they jumped, maybe they were pushed, or maybe it just happened. Or, maybe, just maybe, they just decided on a different path. 

The apple analogy is one that can be applied to parents  and their kids. Sometimes a child is  a mirror image of their parents and sometimes they are the farthest from it. So why  is it that parents who are loud and outgoing or shy and passive in personality  produce children with seemingly opposite results? 

As the youngest of 5 children I feel like this opposite result is a common occurrence. Of  course, in one way or another every child reflects their parents. This holds true for me, as my mother and I have similar  personalities. We are both extroverted and social; but I would say she is a little more reserved than I am me. 

Before going any further on this topic, it is crucial to discuss the concept of nature vs. nurture. The basic concept of this idea revolves around how  much a person’s characteristics are formed by either “nature” or “nurture.”  Nature refers to biological factors while nurture refers to upbringing or life experience.  A child might retreat to a more introverted personality style from experiencing trauma or as a self-preservation response– seeing it as a more efficient way of life or just naturally being more comfortable in this space. On the other hand, a child might reflect a more extroverted personality– seeing this lifestyle as a better route to success or as a means of feeling more connected. 

Ultimately, no child wants to constantly hear how “they’re just like their parents!” which may cause them to stray. This is not necessarily because they view them in a negative manner but because they are their own person and should be afforded an individual identity. Teens sometimes face pressure  to reach or surpass the legacy or standards of their parents. I personally have a deep admiration for my mother and there are many aspects of her character or personality I hope to carry forward and aspects of her life that I hope to achieve within myself. Simultaneously, I also deeply adore myself and always afford myself the opportunity to grow in my own interests, opinions, and personality. So the next time you’re  thinking about telling that teen how “they’re the spitting image of their parents” –  dont 🙂