Death: Should Kids be Shielded or Exposed to It?

Mariama Samateh, Staff Writer

I recently had a dilemma where I had to hide something from an 8-year-old. Her father passed away, and my family told me not to tell her. Sure, I believed  she shouldn’t be told immediately, and we would have to find an understanding and gentle way to explain “death” to her. It also wouldn’t be my place to tell her, but some family members believed that she shouldn’t be told at all. I understood  some of the points they made on the issue, they were afraid it would be a major setback in her life and that she would live the rest of her life with only memories of her father, but she would have to find out eventually, and I felt sooner rather than later was best.

We live in a society today where kids are increasingly smart, I mean really smart. Kids are also curious, which contributes to their intelligence. Unfortunately, along with all the good in the world that is accessible to them, there is also bad. This  means that kids will eventually have to experience the bad in the world, like death. This experience with my cousin made me wonder when the right time is to talk to young children about death and how to handle telling them when the person who has died is an important part of their lives.

Death is inevitable, and it’s only right that parents should sit down and have a conversation with their children about death rather than forcing children to hear it  from a peer or a person who is not close to them. Staff Writer from The Washington Post, Allison Klein, claims that, “experts say you’re not doing your kids any favors by saying kitty is sleeping or went to the vet when she actually died. Kids can handle the death of a pet if you explain the cycle of life in a compassionate and accurate way. Families can honor kitty by having a funeral or ceremony acknowledging the pet’s life and place in the family.”

Ultimately, in my situation, the family came to the conclusion that it would be best to tell her. Everyone agreed that it would be better to tell her than have someone else do it. As I expected, she was extremely strong. She cried a little and then realized that death is a part of life.

Having a conversation with children about death is crucial for a child to understand the not so shiny sides of life. Everyone will go through it one day, and parents should educate their children on it so they are prepared when it happens in their lives.