We’ve all heard the expressions, and we’ve probably all even uttered one or two ourselves: “Don’t be such a girl.” “Grow a pair.” “Man up.”

However, what we don’t realize is just how harmful these phrases can be. In our society, we teach men both explicitly and subtly that they have to act a certain way in order to be accepted as a man. What we must learn is just how much this hurts men and, ultimately, society as a whole.

There are just as many rules for men as there are for women. Men don’t wear makeup. Men don’t wear dresses. Men don’t cry. Men are not sensitive. The list goes on and on.

Society focuses on how women are oppressed, this issue is in no way false and is very important; but we never really focus on how men are forced to be the “alphas” and how, in doing that, they often suffer.
The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention states that in 2017, 3.54 times more men died by suicide than women. To me, part of the reason for this is because while women are taught to express their feelings, men are taught to bury theirs deep.

This is where the connection to feminism comes into play. Feminism is for the equality of genders, not just women. We as a society need to start using this goal – of equality – to help men as well as women, because women are not the only ones suffering from gender expectations.

Women are more often oppressed than men and suffer from gender expectations, abuse, and other such crimes, and statistics according to the NCADV website show that while 1 in 4 women are abused, 1 in 9 men are. However, what often goes unnoticed is how men can be oppressed too, and that they suffer from what is often the same or similar situations.

What we need to do as a society is stop forcing the role of “indestructible” upon men and allow them to be themselves as individuals.