Valentines Day Syndrome

Naomi Kyei-Asare, Co-Editor-in-Chief

Flower bouquets, Pinterest-level photos, cute downtown dates, and the ability to say that you “have your own person” are all part of the reason why teens want to be in a relationship. While all of these things are great, one has to wonder why  so many teens are in such a rush to find “the one,¨ fall in love, or be in a relationship?  

From my experience in high school, I would say loneliness is definitely a leading cause of why teens want to be in a relationship or find love at such a fast rate. Sometimes it can feel like your friends or family aren’t always there for you; so to have your “own person” can be comforting, and  having a romantic partner and getting to experience a snippet of what it’s like to be “in love” is exciting. I would also say it’s kind of a pride thing as well, because if you’re in a relationship with someone, others notice it; and  having something that a lot of people desire or are attracted to  can be viewed as a badge of honor or a trophy to show off. 

Oziel Gomez’s article for Youth News Official took a closer look at teen relationships. Gomez states, “Teenagers nowadays tend to rush into relationships due to peer pressure and FOMO [Fear of Missing Out]. This could be the reason why they dive in headfirst, anxious to experience love.” 

Another writer,  Jaimie Seaton of Your Teen Mag, also examined what teens get from relationships and notes,  “It’s all about love and belonging, and we all want that. Those are our deepest motivations, and it’s very much tied to survival. Connection is a driving force for humans.” 

Both of these writers express clear evidence of how teens want someone or somewhere to belong to and feel like “home.¨  Seaton´s piece on connection also supports teens trying to seek a relationship, to run away from isolation, or to soothe their craving for connection. This  supports the mindset that when you find “the one” in a romantic partner you will be “complete” or “whole.¨ In reality, you already surpass these things by yourself if you make sure to take the time to actually spend time with yourself, and be loving and appreciative towards yourself. 

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to experience love or a romantic relationship; but I would just say that teens shouldn’t base their entire self-worth on that. We are young, so our relationships, friendships, the people in our lives, and even jobs will all come and go; so learning to  just live in the moment for the meantime is an important part of one’s maturity. What is meant for you to experience will happen; but you can’t force it.