If a close friend or family member came to you and told you that they had severe depression and anxiety, how would you react? Your reaction may be the difference between life and death.

Your initial reaction could be suspicion. For some of you, even, I bet your first reaction could be to laugh and commend your friend on the good joke. While for some obscure reason it is popular to make jokes, your friend may not be kidding, and your carelessness may have just cost him his life.

When it comes to mental illness, it seems that few care about, or understand, the effects it can have on the wellness of an individual. Those afflicted with a mental disorder are told to get over it, that it’s not as bad as they’re making it out to be, other people have it much worse. You tell your friend that it’s all in his head; he doesn’t really have a mental illness, he’s just overthinking.

Technically, you are not wrong; their mental illness is all in their head. Mental refers to the brain. The brain is in their head. Your logic, albeit dismissive and inconsiderate, is perfectly sound.
Common logic also implies, if you cannot see it in their physical health or behavior, the illness does not exist or, at least, isn’t severe enough to receive significant attention. More often than not, this leads to mental illness amplifying over time, sometimes even to the point where we can see physical and behavioral signs of it. Only, by then, it might be too late.

Mental illnesses are as real as they get. In the same way gastrointestinal organs can shut down or stop functioning properly, so can the brain which, by the way, is also an organ. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, stress, unhealthy sleeping habits and other negative factors can affect the neurological processes in the brain, hindering the neurotransmitters and causing the brain to falter. Communication between neurons, transmission of “chemical messages” and the hormones that cause you to feel the way you do may not process correctly. A dysfunctional brain is an unhealthy brain, possibly leading to development of mental illnesses such as schizophrenia and depression.
The best way to help people with a mental illness, like any other illness, is to get them professional help and be there for them when they need you. In severe cases, they may need to take medicine to help balance their brain, but one of the most important and best ways to help them improve their health is to provide unwavering support, and be present while they’re trying to get their lives back on track. If depressed individuals have no support, they often won’t look for help themselves. If they are dependent on the people that support is supposed to be coming from, health improvement becomes even less probable.

In truth, it is not like these people keep quiet about their illness. Mental illness sufferers reach out persistently because they know that they will not get better without help. They ask again and again and sometimes never get an ounce of support. Mentally ill individuals are not asking for much. All they truly need is support. Someone to reach out to them and be willing to understand and reassure them it will be okay. Some people may not know how to approach or help a mentally ill person, as the experience is new and unfamiliar. That does not mean, however, that they cannot learn.

So maybe you are less of a “silent” killer than you are an ignorant killer. Technically, actually, you’re not a killer at all. You won’t have to live with the fact that you directly drove someone to suicide, or killed him or her yourself for that matter. I just hope you’ll be able to live with the fact that you were not there for him when all he needed was your sympathy and comfort during a terrifying time when the two seemed scarce.