The past year has been filled with headlines regarding sexual assault and harassment, whether it be through the #MeToo movement or, as we’ve seen more recently, the confirmation hearings of Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh.

One aspect that has been consistent throughout these public moments is the excuses used to justify the alleged repulsive actions of the men accused of sexual misconduct – specifically the infamous phrase “boys will be boys.” This phrase has notoriously been used to justify sexual assault and harassment, but it is also used to excuse all types of behavior from young boys. This realization has led me to question whether there’s a link between the use of this excuse by adults towards young boys and its use as an excuse for adult men. The difference is that one group is children and the other is grown men who should be aware of their actions.

From a young age children are taught that disruptive or inappropriate behaviors are acceptable for boys, because “that’s just the way boys are.” Aud Torill Meland and Helen Kaltvedt, professors of early childhood development at the University of Stavanger in Norway, studied the differences in how kindergarten teachers reacted to disruptive behavior from male and female students. Their study found many instances where female students were penalized for behaviors that male students were not.

Melland and Kaltvedt noted a specific situation where a group of male students were “[jumping] off a climbing frame while shouting ‘I’m Batman, I’m Batman!’” and “a girl comes over, sees what the boys are doing, climbs up the climbing frame and jumps off, yelling ‘I’m Batman.’” A member of the staff then “goes over to the girl, takes hold of her and says, ‘you’ve got to stop screaming like that!’ and removes her from the game.”

This is a blatant example of a double standard that teaches young girls that the rules only apply to them. Not only this, but it sets the precedent for boys to act without fear of repercussions even when their actions may be harmful to those around them.

This attitude presents itself in our current society as men accused of sexual harassment and assault often have excuses made for them. The most recent example is Kavanaugh. While, I am not going to argue about whether he did it or not, I do think it’s important that we discuss the excuses that began to circulate on his behalf.

During the coverage of one of Kavanaugh’s accusers, Christine Blasey Ford, some began to insinuate that Kavanaugh’s actions were excusable. One of the most reprehensible cases of this was The National Review’s Dan McLaughlin’s claim that what Kavanaugh allegedly did is okay because “Teenagers in general and teenage boys in particular do a fair number of stupid, rude, and inappropriate things, and doubly so when drunk, horny, and in the presence of the opposite sex.”

Excuses like this are not only detrimental to women and girls, as it excuses any harm done to them by boys as just a part of them growing up, but it also harms boys by telling them that they are incapable of self-control. In order to have a world where men can truly be held accountable for their actions we must not only teach consent and respect, but we need to eliminate the double standards for behavior that are prevalent throughout childhood. It is only when we have done this that we can get close to having a world where sexual assault and harassment are not common occurrences.